Today I wanted to blog about turning 30. After all, our blog was started this year, as we gracefully age into our third decade. Hehe.
I know people always over-dramatize the turning 30 part about their lives (well, at least until they are close to turning 40), and they obsess about it. I lamented during the last year about turning 30 as well, but in my heart, I knew that the difference between my last day of 29 and the first day of 30 is but a day. It was fun complaining about it though. Hehe.
The thing I didn't expect was that turning 30 really does make a difference to your life. It didn't happen in a heartbeat, but slowly and surely, my mindset begins to shift to a phase I cannot believe I would even get to. For the people who are dreading to turn 30, this is a advisory article, to tell you that you will change, but it's not exactly bad, just different. For people who already turned 30, you probably can empathize.
1) You stop caring about clubbing as much (especially if you are married or attached).
When I was 28 years old, I was still really into clubbing. I remember always thinking, damn, I don't think clubbing is just a phase to me, it's more like a lifestyle. I don't want to be the 30-something year old weeping at home because I'm too embarrassed to be still clubbing!
After I got married, the first year coming back was a big adjustment. It was hard to weed out clubbing, and I still went out quite a bit, but it wasn't the same anymore. As I tell my friends and I tell Deron, I just feel out of place most of the time because I no longer have anything to offer. I was already legally taken, and if I even talk to a stranger, people who are not friends will always judge and gossip. I still love the music, and dancing to it, but it no longer gave me the same enjoyment as before. After my new year resolution about not clubbing as much, I really realized that I don't care for it as much anymore. I look forward to nice dinners, lounging at home watching tv over the weekends, or having a drink with my friends. I'm just so sick of stuffing myself in tight dresses and painful heels and not sleeping till like 5am.
Also, I feel like death the morning after these days. Still remember the years when I could still come to lab on Fridays after college nights on Thursdays. Man.
Disclaimer: Vegas clubbing still rocks, so I am issuing a disclaimer about not clubbing in Vegas. Also, I will still go clubbing for birthday events of close friends. And this does not apply to single friends. I guess it is just different after marriage. They always say it doesn't change you, but it really does!
2) You learn to appreciate alcohol, not just for getting wasted.
In my twenties, I am not exactly selective about my alcohol as long as it gets me there! I rarely got hangovers regardless of what I drank. Towards the end of my twenties, I can no longer stomach cheap alcohol. And I learn to appreciate sips of wine more than say tequila shots. There is something very rewarding about buying a good bottle of wine, and appreciating it. Same goes for beer, and good vodka for me.
3) You pay more attention to makeup.
You are probably thinking, this is a given because you are turning older, but I meant that you pay more attention not only to your makeup but others. I used to look at faces on the street and merely categorize them as "beautiful", "average" and "not so-good looking". I don't pay attention to the detail of the faces, just the general image. But these days, it really bothers me if someone didn't prune their brows, or wearing the wrong shade of eyeshadow, or uneven blush.
4) You appreciate your parents more.
This applies to me, and probably not everyone. This year, I really am starting to appreciate that my parents are indeed getting older and I really should pay more attention to them while I still can. Also, the unconditional love that they have showered me with over the years really gets to me these days.
5) Maternal instincts.
I used to think that having kids is something I would never do or do when I am in my late thirties. I just cannot imagine compromising my life for kids! The idea just feels so alien to me. Up to a year ago, I really do find most kids very annoying, and I cannot imagine having a little brat of my own. It must be the hormones, because I am just liking babies more and more these days! Nicole has always adored kids, so this point obviously depends on the individual.
6) Gossip and compliments do not affect you as much as before.
I attribute this to the growing mature confidence one gets as he/she ages. I used to be really affected by gossip, and really very encouraged by compliments. These days, I have a much better perception of gossip and compliments, maybe because with age, you get to know the world a little better, and realize that the world does not revolve around you, and that sometimes, it just isn't personal.
7) You limit your daily activities to a group of close friends.
Bye bye social butterfly. Whereas the younger me loved to have as many friends as possible, the older (and hopefully wiser) me feels warm and fuzzy in a small group of close friends. It takes way less effort, and is way more rewarding. Hopefully, we will stay friends until we read the obituaries page every day to check......Hehe.
8) You tone down on the makeup
I'm not sure if it's a growing confidence, or just a gradual lack of caring, but I wear way less makeup than in my twenties. Every time I travel when I was younger, my makeup bag is bursting at the seams with the eyeshadows and blushes I HAVE to have during my travels, but these days, I find it hard even to fit half of the same bag. I used to make god-awful decisions like blue eyeshadow and thin eyebrows, and I have to say that I am glad that I am less adventurous these days.
9) Comfort is the #1 priority.
I cannot stress enough on this point. Gone are the days when we could book a chalet and sleep 20 of us. I really need my own bed, and if I have to share, it has to be with just ONE more person and it has to be at least a double bed. Also, I pick clothes and shoes for the comfort level, not for the style anymore. I no longer can prance around in stilettos that make my feet bleed, or clothes where I cannot breathe in at all. Same goes for airlines and hotels. I just cannot settle for less anymore. I guess the cranky old lady is here to stay!
I just need more personal physical space in general. I guess it's a good thing that wealth usually correlates with age. Hurhur.
10) You tend to be more picky.
This applies to many things in general. You are more particular about the clothes you buy. They have to be of a certain acceptable fabric, and of a certain flattering cut.
Same goes in finding a spouse. When we are in our twenties, we just want someone we are physically attracted to. When we get older, we look for sooooo many things. Our partner needs to connect on an intellectual and social level, need to be able to promise security, need to have compatible habits etc, and looks take a backseat (although for some, this still persists). Sometimes, I can understand why some older men seek out younger woman, because they are not as picky. BUT, they can never settle with younger women who are not in the stage of their lives to just settle down and have kids. So, have heart, my friends!
Having said all these, I have to say that I am not unhappy about moving into this new phase of life. Life seems to hold more meaning, simply because you appreciate it more and not take everything for granted. Not looking forward to 40 though. Ha.
xoxo,
Keira
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